A lot of my graduate school work has been about a smattering of different things, but often it’s about self reflection. When learning about how others develop their identity we must first have a good base of what our own identity is. When you think of identity we think of what we are, or if you were to say it… Who I am.
I had to write this out for an assignment, and at first I had trouble, and then I wrote a single line that made me just sit a look at the cursor blink on the screen.
I am nothing, but somehow; that’s something
People are constantly trying to find out what and who they are. It’s seemingly human and odd to try and figure out who and what we are, and especially who you identify with. I can claim one group, or place or thing, but how does that let me know who I am? Am I only identifiable by what I own, do or believe? Who are we? better yet… what are we?
I don’t want to get philosophical, metaphysical or preachy on any level, but I think it’s a valid to think about this. Like I stated above I said that, “I am nothing, but somehow; that’s something.”
When I first wrote out that little line I didn’t think of the depth or meaning to admitting that I am nothing. Often people that are sucidal belive that they have no more worth to society, but that isn’t what I mean by “nothing”. When I say I am nothing I’m saying that I am so insignificant that it’s mind blowing. When you look up at the star at night at the stars that are the same size if not bigger than our own sun which is bigger than anything I can fathom. That’s what it means to be nothing. So small that the world and other things pass on without even acknowledging your existence.
But… just cause you’re nothing doesn’t mean you aren’t something.
We may seem insignificant and small on the scale of existence and the world, but we are something too. I liken it to the idea that a small micro-organism can take down someones entire immune system, a small screw that somehow keeps an engine running and the one person who makes a larger difference that we may never completely see or know the consequences of. To me, that’s something.
How though? In all of this expanse and empty space are we just nothing? Why do we exist? Are we a fluke? That’s where the “somehow” comes in.
Somehow we are something. When everything around you tells you that you are nothing and there’s no reason in your life except to reproduce and die, then there is one who makes you something. In my faith it is my LORD that makes me something. I don’t worry about my own identity, because I find it in my LORD. I am nothing, but it is my LORD that makes me something. I am something only because of Him and only for Him. Otherwise I am nothing. It’s a strange to feel and know that I am because of the true I AM. All I can do is sit back and think, “Isn’t that something”.