July 2011
Sometimes it’s not enough.
So much has happened this month, so much indeed. It’s amazing how a month can feel like it’s just begun, just as it feels like some memories are ages away. Maybe it’s the heat, but July felt like six weeks rolled into one and one week rolled into six.
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On the toes of adulthood I’ve been staring into what lies ahead with a heavy heart and even heavier realization of the permanence, frailty and fleeting nature of other people, places and experiences that either never or always change. I don’t often muse about things that were, or are or could be, but this month was different.
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Different because for the first time in a long time I had a direction and a clear cut future of where I would ‘be’ for the near future. It’s strange how geographic location (or at least stability in it) can give us perceived stability in other areas of our life. As July ended this reality became less perceived and more understood.
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I haven’t felt like I’ve stopped in years. Stopped and really thought, even though I feel like often I think too much. However sometimes it just doesn’t seem like enough. In trying to explain where I am with where I was and where I’m going, I am stuck half-way between words that are not enough. Some people say “talk is cheap” (action is expensive), but I believe that talk isn’t only cheap, but not enough.
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When words don’t seem like enough sometimes, all we can do is hope that our heart is heard through our actions rather than our words.
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It’s a short update this month because words don’t seem like enough this month.
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They may never feel like enough again.
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Album of the Month
Although this album came out in June I’m counting it. Other than Portugal the Man‘s new album, I was sorely disappointed with this month’s releases. This is a band I found recently that I just fell in love with. Mainly from someone else’s remix of one of their songs. But either way, fun band. Hooray for Earth.
True Loves – Hooray for Earth
[...] My job search was on, even though it felt like the on switch was broken. This continued until July when I was fortunate enough to find a position and a reason not to have to move back in with my [...]