I’ll be brief. (unlikely)

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You never realize how much stuff you “own” till you move somewhere, or decide to reorganize your life.  Just in one room in your house you may be surprised how much you actually “own” and how much of that really is stuff you could live without.

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In a book I read a while back, Serve God Save the World, the Author J. Matthew Sleeth discusses a very important part of the book. Ownership is illusion. Ownership of what? The Earth. There’s a lot in the book I could talk about, but I’ll stick to this idea, because telling a world that set on claiming land for their own or having ownership of territories due to religious rites is what this world seems to have been built on.

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Much of this idea reminds me of some of the monks at the seminary my friend Kelly is at. (He’s becoming a priest). The monks are Benedictine.  If you aren’t familiar with Benedictine Monks, I’ll give you a quick run down of why this is relevant. Within the Regula Benedicti it states that that the private possession of anything is forbidden.  Of course there are many things that the Benedictines use that are all owned by the abbey and although they are not possessed by one man, they are used by all.

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I want you to wonder for a moment, what all do you “own”?  Go ahead, make a quick list of everything within a 5 foot radius of you.  A lot more than you think.  You may rent your apartment, but I doubt you rent a lot of what is around you.  I think the Benedictines have the idea right, although not all of us may be called to be monks (or nuns), I think the idea is clear to me:

Ownership is Illusion.

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How much do you own?  The answer is nothing.  Your ownership is an illusion.

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I’m sure you may be thinking, “well, that’s funny my name is on the deed to my car, I have to own this puppy!”

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First off, thank you for calling your car a “puppy”, but that’s not the type of ownership I’m talking about.  Ownership is where we claim private power, control and authority over something.  You have no authority, control or power over anything that is not given to you by a higher power.  (Hint: The higher power isn’t the U.S. Supreme Court.)

 “For we are God’s fellow workers; you ARE God’s field, God’s building”

                                                                                                                           1 Corinthians 3:9

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Ownership belongs to our LORD.  He has given us stewardship and blessed us all individually.  Not only is the entire earth HIS, but so are we.  Our body is not only a temple, but it’s HIS temple.  When you lose all ownership and come to the realization it’s all God’s, the more weight and levity your actions in this world seem to take.

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This isn’t a call for people to get rid of all their posessions, but I’m sure you could really clean out that closet or movie collection of yours. Also this isn’t relevant to ownership of actions, we all must take responsibility for those, but when we speak about ownership we should be careful who’s the real owner of our lives and the world we live in.

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How are you serving the LORD as a steward of you life and this world?  These are the only questions I pose. We may want to think about the true owner of our fortunes and misfortunes, and how we are working to give praise to HIM.

Things, stuff,  DongXi, guff, etc… tend to get in the way of our real realationship to God and our praise for HIM.  Ownership of everything is illusion, it all belongs to him.  It ALL belongs to HIM.

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I know many of you that read this may not have the same beliefs as I, but I think the idea can still have value.  Our earth, your body and the livelihood of the world is dependent on our understanding that we are incredibly lucky to share this world, and live.

We shouldn’t take those blessings away from future peoples and inhabitors of a world that we share stewardship for such a short time.

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Give Heavily, Thank Graciously and  Share Unending.

The rest will take care of itself.

I’m stepping through the door.

April was quite a busy month, but that seems to be the norm.  So I’m not sure why I really tell you all anymore.  Yes, busy, blah blah blah, books and music.  Sure things are similar, but things are never the same.  Mark Twain put it best when he said that:

“history doesn’t repeat itself, but it rhymes. “

It’s the end of my semester (after next week) and these past two semesters have just flown by me.  I just seem to be floating through my time here in grad school in a most peculiar way.  So far my professor, Major Tom Pilgreen, has worked well with me and kept me on track with my thesis. (no seriously he’s a major in the army)   School isn’t the same as it used to be, but it’s rhyming but in a most peculiar way.

(In a recent post I talked about my plans this summer, but since this is an update on April I’ll let you wait on more info on that. )

Life also seems to be rhyming.  Some things that have always been there are still there.  Place, people and random things that have followed me throughout my life aren’t the same, but they rhyme. Though I’m many many miles away from everything that’s familiar everything seems to be still, similar, but in a peculiar way.

The stars even look differently recently.  I sat out during the Lyrid Meteor shower this month and it just seems like stars look different than they used to (I mean it was cloudy, but still).  They are still far away, but somehow different.  I feel more grounded than I did.  More so than usual… Not sure what means.

I got to see my family, which I am close to, but geographically distant.  They all know I love them, and this next month in China will be a big thing for all of us.  Longest time for me in a foreign country, and longest time for my Mom to probably go without sleep.  (She worries cause she cares)  It’s not the same as my previous trips, but it rhymes.

April has felt like I’m preparing for the next thing.  It was less that something happened, and more or less something is about to happen.  That could mean a couple things.  One that May is going to be insane, or April was wasted.  I tend to believe the first one.

Sometimes it does feel like your sitting in a tin can, floating above the moon.  Planet Earth is just there and there is nothing I can do.  But as this month ends, I’m putting on my helmet and counting down till I leave things behind and send myself to a new place that isn’t the same, but just happens to rhyme in a most peculiar way.

“Check your ignition and let God’s love be with you…”

[if you can name the song I was referencing through the entire post you get a prize... my respect.  I dressed up like David Bowie if that gives you a hint.]

Books I’m Reading

Let’s say that I’m going to maybe think about getting rid of this section while I work on my Thesis, but here’s three books I’d rather be reading… To suffice your inner literary monster.

The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat ~ Oliver Sacks

Brave New World ~ Aldous Huxley

Paper Towns ~ John Green

Album of the Month

Front man of Sigur Rós, Jónsi, has decided to take up a solo album of his own.  It’s been highly anticipated, and was released on my birthday, so it’s got to be good.  This guy is immensely talented and his ethereal sound paired with driving percussion makes this album a must.  It’s very very good, and I don’t say that about everything.

Jónsi ~ Go

jónsi – “go quiet” from Jónsi on Vimeo.

March 2010

March-ing On.

Three Months, one-quarter our of 2010 is already gone, and I’m really not even sure what happened to 2009.  I’m sure I haven’t slept enough for it to be April already.  I know that life supposedly speeds up past 20, but it’s beginning to get a little ridiculous!

Life just keeps on marching onward.  My sister is pregnant with twins, and we all couldn’t be happier for her.  Her and her Kiwi of a husband (he’s from New Zealand but grew up in Africa.. its a long story) are starting their family off with a couple of kids that will be nothing more than handfuls of crazy blessings that their uncle Nathan will probably spoil.

One step at a time I’m getting closer to finishing my Masters degree and I’ll be more educated but not necessarily any smarter, and with more options that I know what to do with. One step closer to the rest of my life.  I’ve just got to decide what I want to do between now and when the rest of my life begins.

Many of my friends are taking big steps, getting married, planning for kids, planning for the next step before they’ve even taken the first one.  Left over right they march on living life, and doing things they never thought they would be doing. Things I wouldn’t even dream of doing. (House payments sound dreadful)

Watching lives blossom into something new right when it’s the beginning of Spring (tricky Groundhog).  Even though the ice and snow are trying to quel beginnings, it blooms all the same.  It’s that time of the year when we are reminded that Winter is over and life continues on even if we try to stop it.  We realize we aren’t in control of the way the world spins and the only thing we can do is step with our left and our right in order to keep from falling behind.

More and more I realize this fact, that I’m not in control.

“Consider the lillies of the field, how they grow. They do not labor or spin.”  is what Jesus said on his Sermon on the mount.  He continued on and said, “do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  (Matthew 6: 28-34 ish)  I’m really not even sure what happened in March, but I know something did.  Life kept moving along, shuffling it’s feet, left over right until we hit April where showers bring flowers and then it’ll be Summer.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  I’ll take this one step at a time, thank you very much.

Books I’m Reading

The question is what books am I not reading.  While killing myself slowly on my Thesis I’ve been reading some pretty interesting and awful books.  Since it would be hard to put all the pics up of the books here’s a small list of the books I’ve been reading.

Album of the Month

This album dropped in the U.S. March 2.  Jamie Cullum is one of the more talented pianist and musicians out there.

Sick on the ivory and the mic.

February 2010

Went Crazy a Long Time Ago.

February is one of those months that we try to pack 31 days into.  I’ve never understood why. It has 28 day, and we only get that extra day every 4 years.  I’m pretty sure February had 35 days and most of those days had 28 hours.  Trust me, I was there.

It snowed in early February and it was not only a surprise to me that they cancelled school for two days, but that this was the most snow that people in Arkansas had seen in some time.  It was a refreshing experience to see a little snow on the ground, and witness some epic snowball fights among “20-somethings” acting like they were five again.

The snow melted finally and things got back normal (ish), and I was able to continue on, but then I was thrown into a conference back in my home state of Texas.  It was good to spend time in a part of the world that made more sense to me.  I forgot home much I loved Texas and specifically Tex-Mex food.  If you haven’t had Tex-Mex in Texas then you have not lived my friend.

I also forgot about all the ridiculous Texas garb you can find while scouring little shops near the capitol in Austin. My Texas pride got a little annoying to the rest of the people that were on the trip, and they kept saying that Oklahoma and Texas were the same thing.  Sorry Oklahoma, you are pretty cool, but you’re no Texas.

This year is already getting away from me.  I’m afraid we’re getting close to 88 miles per hour, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to see what the future holds just yet.  To lay things out:  If the year is panning out the way it’s been planned (which is never the way it is) then I’ll be in Arkansas until May when I’ll be going to China to live for the summer, and then I’ll be back in late July to start my second year of Grad School and then I’ll be heading to New Zealand for Christmas.

Not only is the year getting away from me, but it seems like everything is.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever had control, but I’ve been pretty good at keeping the monsters and bay and hold down as many helium filled balloons as possible, but sometimes ya just gotta let go and hope for the best.

When our lives, and specifically my life, is scheduled down to the last hour of every day I find a major issue there.  I shouldn’t need to schedule in relaxation time, or anytime that can be considered “other time” for that matter.  Sometimes I feel like my life is getting away from me and I’ve fallen to the power of my google calendar.  It’s disheartening.

If you’ve been white water rafting you know what I mean.  While rafting down a river you must not fight the current, but rather “go with the flow”. Sometimes you are perpetually trying to keep your raft tipping over. Sometimes that’s the way life is.  It’s crazy and you got to learn to “go with the flow” instead of fighting the current, otherwise you’re going to drown.

Keep your head up.  There are calm waters further down.

(That waterfall thing is a myth. Trust me)

Books I’m Reading

I haven’t had to much time to read for myself due to big strides in my thesis, but I did start a book that I know will get some probable bickering and I told you so’s from certain individuals.

Musicophilia ~ Oliver Sacks

Pride and Prejudice ~ Jane Austen

Album of the Month

I’m a big fan of this band.  Sadly both of their albums total up not even 2 hrs of music.  Also if you’re wondering they aren’t jumping on the Vampire band wagon a Vampire Weekend is something completely different than all that Twilight junk.  I’m currently dancing around my apartment to “Holiday” on this album.

Contra ~ Vampire Weekend

Back in the Swing of Things.

The good thing about January is that every year it feels like something new and fresh.  It’s a beginning of the year, and it feels like the beginning of everything.

This month has been been a good one.  I rang in the new year in Oklahoma and experienced the first Gangsgiving, which my friends so cleverly named.  I’m back into doing something familiar in a slightly familiar place.  Its a good, but strange feeling.

I’m on a plan this year to see and visit a lot of Arkansas sites and state parks.  So many people find themselves in a place that they can’t find any redeeming quality to, so they spend their entire life trying to go to somewhere and get that short thrill of “something” that they deem as cool.

However the best things in life are often right under our nose.

Pretty in Pink sums up that idea completely.  Molly Ringwald tries the entire movie trying to win over this one guy while she didn’t realize that the one guy she was looking for was there all along, Duckie.  It’s a pretty ridiculous 80s movie, I suggest it if you havent seen it before.  Sometimes I feel like Duckie, and other times I feel like Molly Ringwald (minus the red hair and shoulder-pads).

I think that I can and could find something great anywhere I live.  Often we notice that things are just fine, and all they needed was a chance, and sometimes a second chance.  My motto in life is that I’ll try anything twice, because sometimes the first time was just bad luck. I’ve already found things that I’ll always hold dear about Arkansas, and I’ve only been here for about 7 months now.

It’s a nice feeling to see potential.   Potential in school, relationships, and other life goals.  I could look at some of these places or things where something is lacking and say, “look what it doesn’t have.”  Instead I take the other road.  I say, “Look at all the great things that can be done, it has so much potential.”

A second look , a chance or a little more time is all something, some place or someone often needs to really show what they are capable of.  I’m slowly trying to remember and not make snap judgments about anything, but I’m learning.  Looking back I can name off plenty of times I wish I could try again, or try completely different, but like I said… I’m learning, and keeping it interesting in the process.

An empty cup is just a cup waiting to be filled.

(ps. If you notice I’m going to try to add more photos to my updates, to keep things interesting.)

Books I’m Reading

I’m actually not reading War & Peace right now, but I’m gonna leave it on there.  I’ll be starting it up pretty soon.  But the other book I will probably doing a post on pretty soon.  It’s pretty awesome.

War & Peace ~ Leo Tolstoy

Musicophilia ~ Oliver Sacks

Album of the Month

You’ve probably heard their music on commercials, but their much better and much bigger than that.  Take a listen, you’ll enjoy I promise.

Oh, and they just won a Grammy as well for best Alternative Music Album.  Proof of either how good they are, or how commercial they’ve become.

Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix ~ Phoenix

December 2009

Transient Visitor.

Like I was telling a friend in a letter, this month has been a little crazy. Cram packed with most everything you can imagine, and a turkey. I went to another wedding, but don’t worry that still puts me up to 8 this year. I finished my first semester as a grad student with a 4.0 and have been for all intensive purposes living out of my car and bumming off couches. Overall it’s been a pretty hectic month. I haven’t felt real stationary for very long and most places I’m just a visitor… even at “home”.

This isn’t a bad thing, but it’s definitely turning into a pretty common trend. I’m only gonna spend 2 years in Arkansas, and I’ll most likely be in China for the duration of the Summer. So needless to say I’m not anywhere very long.

A friend of mine was asking me where I planned to live? I asked him to clarify and he said where do you plan to live for the rest of your life? I looked at him, laughed to myself for a moment and I said back pretty sure of myself, “Everywhere!” He looked at me and laughed obviously thinking this was the single craziest idea he ever heard, while I’m sitting on the other end thinking that living in one place is the craziest thing I’ve heard of. Two different ideas, but no right answer.

I’m not sure when I’ll settle down. I hope the most settled I am is when I’m dead. Right now I don’t find myself settling down. Not in the traditional sense of finding a wife and kids and what not, but settling down in the geographical and physical sense. I don’t know what it is that is yearning inside of me to just go. Go somewhere, go anywhere and do. Do what? Well, who knows… I could honestly do anything.

I’ll always have a physical home, but my true home is with people. Sometimes specific people, and other times complete strangers. I can’t really ever come home again, because I’m already home. Wherever I am, there I am. Wherever I’ll be, there I’ll be. Wherever that is, it is.

If some men are destined to fail; I then, am their antithesis.

Challenge

mend bridges don’t build fences

Let me break this down for ya. From person to person we build these connections or “bridges”. Sometimes this connection will stay strong and you have no problem walking, skipping or jumping. Other times your connection/bridge can break up a bit like that scene at the end of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. There is the phrase about “burning bridges” and essentially it’s hard to walk back across a burned bridge. Likewise it’s hard to climb over a fence.

If there’s some beef, cook it up and eat it. Find common ground and begin to mend that bridge. You never know when you’re going to want to walk back across.

But if you are getting chased by tribal people with spears and bows and arrows. By all means, burn that bridge.

Books I’m Reading

More books.. I hope to read in my off time… ha off time. If you have any extra time send it my way. I plan to make a plea to the heavens for a 28 hour day. I think that’d work better for my style.

War & Peace ~ Leo Tolstoy

Musicophilia ~ Oliver Sacks

Album of the Month

These guys are great. I found them randomly about 2 years ago, and I thought they were odd, but fun. Over my time I’ve slowly grown to love their music. They just came out with a recent album and movie.

The First Days of Spring ~ Noah and the Whale

November 2009

Much busier than I thought it would be.

I had two pairs of family members come and visit me,  went to a conference in Nashville, assignment and tests abound, and all the while I was trying to write a book.  Needless to say this has been a pretty intense month.  I’ve been slightly more intense this month, and I can tell.  I don’t really like “intense me,” he’s only useful under a football helmet or in battle.  Which I partake in neither of those, lately.

If you think intense is my way of saying stressed then you aren’t wrong, but you aren’t right.  This November has been intense because I didn’t know it was happening till it did, and now it’s gone.  So I packed about 50 days into 30 if that tells you how this month has been.

On the up side I got to spend time with family and other people that I would’nt have otherwise, and Nashville was a great time at the conference, and I got to randomly see Kid Rock on a Sunday Night in downtown Nashville.

This Thanksgiving I got to rest though.  I didn’t get to go home to see family, and that was oddly good for me.  Sometimes holidays are more trouble than they are worth.  Being able to stop a while and do nothing was great.  I don’t get to do that very often.

I’m finding a lot about me since the move away from all of my friends and family.  I’m spending more time by myself than I really ever have.  I’m not trying to garner sympathy and I’m making friends at school Mom, but sometimes we need to spend time by ourselves to realize a few things. I’m finding out what’s missing, and what things I have.  It’s like a puzzle.  I have a box full of pieces that I think makes a full picture on the outside of the box, but when I put all the pieces together I can tell that there are a lot of pieces missing.

I’m beginning to make these changes, and I’m teaching myself new things.  I’ve got to make sure and put the pieces in the right place other wise the picture won’t look right.  I’m not going to finish the picture this year, or even the next.  It’s something that I’ll be continuing to work on.  One thing I need to remember is, that in this search for pieces that I am ‘missing’ that what I’m missing matters less than what I have.

I’ve still got a lot of work to do.  I’ve got to finish the picture.

Challenge

give up the me,  for a we

In a conversation with a friend we were talking about how she thought that she could do it on her own.  She has sectioned herself off before, and just tried to take on the cares and troubles she had, all by herself.  She after awhile realized, she couldn’t do it on her own or she was helpless without the support and help of others.

Whatever it is, remember that you can’t do it on your own.   Whether it’s a project, or just life you can’t do it on your own.  We are social beings, we are built for community and companionship.  This is just what we are meant to do.  No man is an island.

Books I’m Reading

I haven’t really read this past month.  This will be another testament to how busy this past month was.  But I’m gonna keep War and Peace on here.  Still haven’t finished it.  It’s one of those works in progress.  I like to chew on books instead of swallow them whole.

War & Peace ~ Leo Tolstoy

Album of the Month

This is a band that I found a while back, but didn’t realize it was them.  These two sisters can crank out some crazy good tunes.  Perfect for anytime.  It’s kinda indie-ish, so it’s not exactly for those who aren’t into that kinda music.  But “Someday” on this album is just a great song.

Sainthood ~ Tegan and Sara

Here’s my song of the month though: The Gardener – The Tallest Man on Earth

October 2009

Finally. Started. Listening.

Well October, I didn’t know you were here, and now you’re gone.  Old friend I don’t know if you know, but this is our 22nd year together.  Do you remember when I dressed up as Peter Pan for Halloween and my older sister dressed up like Tinkerbell.  I was so mad about wearing panty-hose, and also a little mad that Tinkerbell was double my size.  We’ve had a lot of good times together.

October, this time was a bit different than it had been in the past, but still exciting with new twists and turns.  It was great getting to go back to Oklahoma for OSU’s Homecoming.  Getting to see old friends and spend time with them.  This is something I greatly missed, and it is something I greatly think I needed.

My grandparents came in and we spent some quality time together, and I rounded you out with a couple Halloween parties and a good old Haunted house.  October this year you were awfully good to me.

But October I think that I’ve been neglecting something and all it took was one trip to Oklahoma.

October you always are there.  Every year I can count on you coming through and being the month right after September and you get me ready for November. I forgot that I’m here in Conway for a reason.  I can’t neglect that this is home, as short of a time that I may be here I can’t neglect that fact.  The fact that home isn’t something you find, but something you make.  Let me repeat that more emboldened, October.

Home isn’t something you find, it’s something you make.

I think that’s important.  We can’t wait for life to take us over, we need to take over life.  Is it hard because I have people I care deeply about that aren’t here?  Yeah, it is, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing. October, who knows… this time next year Conway, Arkansas could feel more like home than anywhere ever has.  It just depends on what I make of myself here.

What I do know, October, is that you are always an adventure and always a little different than the year before.  Don’t tell all the other months, but you are really my favorite.  You always seem to shake me to my core.  I’m glad for that.

Oh and more on “listening” another time.  I’ll let you know what I hear.

Challenge

Take a Chance With Love

I’m not sure what this might mean to you, but I can tell you that in my life I’ve always come out better if I took a chance on love instead of backing down.  Don’t over-think things.  Half if not all the time we are over-thinking every step in our life, and especially when it comes to love.  Don’t regret the things you never got to say, or the things you should have said.  Say those things now.  Do those things now. Take a chance with Love.

Books I’m Reading

This month was an off month for reading. I didn’t enjoy these books as much, but I did decide to read the original vampire book in honor of Halloween.

I don’t think I’ll ever read the Twilight series.  Vampires should be scary, not super attractive and just wanting to love. #soapbox

War & Peace ~ Leo Tolstoy

Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions ~ Edwin A., Abbott

The Time Machine ~ H.G. Wells

Dracula ~ Bram Stoker

Album of the Month

Alright this month has been a little interesting, so i decided to go with a nice little Icelandic group called Sigur Rós.  Pardon the naked butts on their album cover, but their music is amazing.  Don’t believe me?  Well check out the videos below.  I don’t know what they are singing, but I don’t’ really care.  It just sounds good.

Med sud i eyrum vid spilum endalaust ~ Sigur Rós

Long post… wow sorry… October was packed.

September 2009

When did I become so busy?

I’m not quite sure what a free weekend is anymore.  Not that it’s a bad thing, but I can’t seem to find a time or day that I wasn’t doing something some weekend.  I wonder if we ever run out of energy.  I still haven’t, but I might feel the wall coming.

September was a good month.  It started out very discombobulated with a whole lot of things going on at once.  I took a trip to Memphis on a whim, I started to really feel busy during the week, went to my cousins wedding, played some mud volleyball, and got to see some people I haven’t seen in a while along the way.  So overall it was a good, but busy month.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a guy that needs a goal.

Toward the end of the month I realized something.  I am in my element when I am not only pushing people to be better around me, but striving towards a goal.  I don’t consider myself goal oriented, but I need something to work on, something to fix, something to help, something to strive for; which in itself is slightly goal-oriented.  It’s just my nature.

I’m beginning to understand and figure out how I can incorporate that into my life.  Each month has been a different journey so far, and I feel strangely connected with people I am currently around and those others that are still near my heart, but not geographically near me.  I’m just waiting to see what those connections truly mean.

I’ve got a lot of journey left in me.

Challenge

Do Something Spontaneous

This is open for interpretation. Most people do something spontaneous at least once a month, but really go out of your box this month.  I took that trip to Memphis, TN early in September.  I wasn’t really planning on it until someone told me literally 12 hours before we went.  It was a great trip and I’m not saying you need to go travel somewhere, but doing spontaneous often will take you out of your comfort zone…. and that is where we really grow.

Books I’m Reading

Yeah I’m still reading War & Peace.  Or at least it’s taking up space on my end-table beside my bed.  I’m working on it.  It’s a really long book.  But hey look at all the other books I was reading this month. Tolstoy just takes some time.

War & Peace ~ Leo Tolstoy

Through Painted Deserts: Light, God, and Beauty on the Open Road ~ Donald Miller

The Jungle Book ~ Rudyard Kipling

Serve God, Save the Planet ~ J. Matthew Sleeth, M.D.

Album of the Month

OK I gave up my man card a long time ago.  So this isn’t a problem for me to say I like.  It’s a great album, and if you buy the deluxe version on iTunes then you get all of the songs in instrumental form.  You can’t go wrong.

My song of the month is by another artist who does a lot of electronic things.

Left Handed Girl ~ James Yuill

Ellipse ~ Imogen Heap

August 2009

August has been a month of a bunch of firsts.

I had my first day of Graduate School, I had my first trip back to Oklahoma since the move,  and my first time to call somewhere else home.  I really haven’t had a lot of “firsts” in a while.  I have had some, but not many really big ones.

The trip to Oklahoma was something I needed.  It wasn’t because I got to spend time people with some of my most favorite people, but that did help.  As odd as it sounds I needed to see that life still went on without me.  I know it did, but I still have such a strong attachment to the people in Stillwater and even the community itself; that I needed to see it for myself. Plus I left my bike, and I needed to get it.

I’ve finally settled into my new environment.  It took me a month, but I really didn’t have enough time to just settle.  Now after being settled, and not feeling like a “lost puppy,” I’m finding my way.

I’m at that stage where I’m trying to figure out why exactly I am here. There are the obvious things, but trying to find that purpose behind all this is quite a conundrum.  I’ll be exploring things like I’m a young freshman on a college campus again, but this time I’ll have have my wits about me a little better.  I don’t know if I really want to be a freshman again. They’re quite a breed apart from the rest.

My purpose is simple.  Love God, Love People, and find where God wants me to fit that into my time here at UCA.  Where can my talents be utilized the best?  Where is he leading me?  Who is he leading me to?  These are the primary questions on my plate right now.

The first part is always the hardest…  finding out what I should do.

The next part is much easier… doing it.

My life that was defined by the familiarity is gone.  A new part of my life has begun in uncharted water.  I imagine this is just the beginning of uncharted water.  I think I still have a whole lot of ocean left to chart.

Challenge

Write a Letter to Yourself… Open it in 5 years.

This is actually something I’m doing already for myself.  I have a letter tucked away that I plan on opening when I’m 30.  It’s a good and interesting way to see where you were at a different time in your life.  You can include your personal life and everything from a goal to anything.  Who cares… you’re the only one who was going to read it anyways.  So have fun with it, and keep it until you open it 5 years later.  It’ll be interesting to see how right and how wrong you were on so many different things.

Books I’m Reading

I didn’t actually read any of War & Peace this month, but if I continue to put it up here maybe it’ll motivate me to read. I did in fact finish another book though.  When I had time I finally read all of the original L. Frank Baum “The Wonderful Wizard of OZ.”  After reading it I do think that the movie would have been much better if they followed the book better, but it also would’ve been a lot weirder.  I almost think L Frank Baum was an opiate and that’s why the poppies made their way into the book.

War & Peace ~ Leo Tolstoy

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz ~ L. Frank Baum

Album of the Month

Great party music.  I heard them first on a commercial.  I really enjoy their indie rock feel with a little dance beats added in.

Grand ~ Matt & Kim