Impossible.

.

A word I kept saying about this month. Each day of April could’ve been characterized as a candle burning from two separate ends that just never seemed to burn out. An impossible predicament with an urgent flame biding my attention.

These types of months remind me I’m alive, at the same time reminding me of my own mortality and human frailty.

In April the world saw incomprehensible terror all over the world, some closer to home than many wished. My small problems find there way down to the bottom of the pile of “things” that are more important in the world that bide our attention.

With each moment I found myself in a slight daze as the ‘flame’ grew closer to my hand.

.

I found myself stopping to watch the world around me for just a split second and bask in the surreality of the moment. I woke each morning marveling in the impossibility of yesterday.

.

The good thing about “yesterday’s” is that there’s always a tomorrow, even a today. The impossible ‘yesterday’ gave way for a possible ‘tomorrow’ and a ‘today’ that bade our attention with an open hand.

Sometimes I find myself in the impossibility of yesterday instead of the promise of today. A promise that together, we can make things better.

The impossible just doesn’t feel that impossible anymore, and the possible is just around the corner.

.

.

I promise.
.

March 2013

Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.

.

I try not to be too ethereal with how I describe each month, but it’s hard to not feel that way about some months and experiences. March was filled with many days of travel “to-and-fro” with plenty of time to think and write. I think that’s why I like traveling so much. It is the time I’m allowed to think and gaze at the sky for a while.

.

With traveling there’s always a direction, a point of interest or a goal. When I was a kid I would go on great adventures through family vacations. One particular one I remember was when my family went to Niagara Falls. We took various routes of transportation from driving to Missouri, Flying to Cleveland and Driving the rest of the way through the North-East.

At one point, my Mom directed my Dad onto a road in the atlas (before GPS and iPhones) that looked like a highway. It wasn’t. The dark green road on the map was a “scenic route“, so as we left Ohio and began to go into Pennsylvania we found ourselves still on the road heading in the right direction, just not quite in the direction we originally planned to go.

.

Sometime we don’t know it, but another route is a better one. This scenic route took us through the farmland of Amish communities and allowed us to see, learn and experience something we would have never seen from the highway.

.

Sometimes we don’t feel like we have a destination, and our foot on the gas pedal hoping the next stop is right.

.

A particular exchange Alice in Wonderland strikes me as a relevant illustration:

.

[Alice comes to a Fork in the Road]

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.

“I don’t much care where–” said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.

“–so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation.

“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”

.

Alice didn’t have a destination in mind, all she had was the desire to go somewhere.

.

Sometimes we don’t care much where we’re going, and we find ourselves just wanting to walk in any direction. Sure we’ll learn something and we’ll get ‘somewhere’, but that doesn’t mean we’re going anywhere worthwhile. Being too focused on the ‘going somewhere’ without a destination is just as bad as being hell-bent on a single destination we forget to take in the scenery.

.

As I pass through the mountains, drive through the flat plains, and find another mountain range ready to be conquered; the roads surely get as windy as the rivers and creek beds they follow. I’ve got the destination in mind, a scenic route out my passengers side window, and a circled destination on a map.

.

It’s three months into 2013, and we’re going somewhere.

.

Let’s hope the road passes through you.

.

.

February 2013

Seeing my Shadow.

.

Presidents Birthdays, Valentines Day and Superbowl parties aside this month has really squeezed a lot into 28 days. February seems to be the time of the year when we catch speed and accelerate after a sluggish month of forgetting to write 2013 on checks and other important documents. It’s officially the new year, no longer the beginning, past our 30 day expiry date of resolutions and grand plans.

.

Transition is over, the year begins.

.

The winter still blustered on with hints of an early Spring even when Punxatawny Phil saw his shadow. What can we expect from February?  Continuance of how great January was, and hope for the rest of the year.   I expected a lot, and much was given.
.
It was just not in ways I was expecting. Very often, my plan has to involve a plan that my plan will not go to plan. A little paradoxical, but truly such is life. We can only plan so much, and everything else that happens is out of our hands.

.

The story of February has been just that. Watching my plans ‘fall apart’ under the guise of seeing the true path set out ahead. I don’t fear the future, I welcome my future failed plans, and path ahead.

.

I welcome the plans I didn’t plan to have.
.
I can’t predict six more weeks of winter just like I can’t predict where life will be taking me in six weeks.  As much as I want to hope for such clairvoyance I know the best comes from us when we strive towards the unknown with our head lifted up to the rising sun, the coming spring and the future plans.
.
So now, I plan...

.

For my plans to change.

.

. 

I’m a bit of a Lord of the Rings fan.  I even abbreviate it as LOTR in almost all instances and expect everyone to know what it is.  I was also a fan before the books were movies and when the only thing that existed was the cartoon versions.

.

Although that’s not what I’m here to talk about.  My fandom is likely something that needs it’s own conversation.

I recently got the urge to rewatch the LOTR series.  Currently I just finished the Two Towers, so I’m two-thirds of the way through.  Did I mention they were the extended editions?  I really like LOTR.

There is something that always strikes me as good or exciting every-time I watch it, maybe something I didn’t notice before.  Some attention to detail I thought was well executed, etc.

This time it was the theming.

.

For those of you newbies here’s a catch up:

There is the evil ring that is the embodiment of evil, but it’s power is so strong that all who own it fall to it’s power.  A task has been given to this Hobbit named Frodo who’s task it is to destroy the ring, but it is a dangerous and terrible path, and really there is nothing that is good about the ring.

Frodo confides in Gandalf:

This scene about isn’t from The Two Towers, but I felt it continued the theme that kept screaming at me as I watched LOTR.

Some times you just don’t feel as if you can go on..

I love this scene.

.

Sam’s undying hope for something greater.  He remembers the stories that were told to him, and it’s not that he hopes to tell his own story one day, but he knows that in order to succeed he must rise to the challenge and press forward.  There is something great about the idea that to achieve the great things in life we must work hard for those things.  Sometimes even sacrificing our own desires for the greater good.

.

Tolkien paints such a great picture in his books not only the weight of sacrifice, but the great necessity of it.

How often in my own life do I sacrifice my own desires for a greater good. I’ve never had to sacrifice anything in my life anything that I feel has had a weight worth something greater.  I hope in my life that I am lucky enough and strong enough have the same spirit as Sam.  The understanding of something greater, and striving towards it.

.

The sacrifice may be difficult, but the reward is great.

January 2013

I’m so human.

.

Not invincible, nor indestructible.  This past month has had me scared out of my whits and grinning from ear to ear from one moment to the next.  Nothing like an eventful January to tip off another year in ‘the life’.  I tend to want to claim and know where the beginnings of friendships, ideas, etc., which makes a new year something I find comforting. Comforting in the fact that I quantify and understand when and how something is, or begins.

.

So, where do I begin?

I woke up January 1, 2013 with a few things in mind some of those things new and others were re-runs of last year.  Great plans for exciting projects, ideas to improve on the year before flowed out of me.  I was ready to make each day count, make each day the best it could be.

.

I found a few phrases jostling around in my head:

• What do you Seek?
• Pursue Friendship
• Choose Joy

.

All of these stemming from a place where my heart and mind become one.  These “phrases” swirled around my head like electrons furiously spinning around the nucleus of an atom.  All I can hope and believe is that these three phrases can help me as I begin what will almost certainly be a tumultuous year filled with good things, difficult decisions and late nights.

.

On top of those things, my pastor, said something simple that struck me in an odd way:

“Your hands were not made for you.”

It was simple, and no one else around me seemed to have their head spinning, but I stared at my hands and thought, yeah, of course they’re not made for me, Why haven’t I thought about that much before?  My hands ARE made to serve others and not made for my own pleasure. 

.

So often we think in a selfish way about the things we claim as our own, whether that be food, clothing, belongings or personality.  We find our ‘humanity’ in the things we claim as our own and the things that define us.  This is common, it’s a typically human trait…. BUT Where do I base my humanity, where do I find my hope, joy? Our humanity tends to have this two-fold nature that shows our unending brokenness and our immense potential for greatness.

.

I will seek this year to use my hands for others in 2013, and not for myself,  extending my potential through serving others rather than serving the selfish nature inside of me.

.

Seems like a good place to begin.

.

.

BUT, for 30 days I plan to try to be, see how it fits.  I’ll be posting my recipes and food throughout the month of the fun things I eat.  Maybe it’ll be crazy, maybe it’ll be delicious, likely both;  maybe neither.

Since you’ve likely got some questions I’ll answer a few for ya

.

Q: Why?  Why would you try to be Vegan for 30 days

A: Food is important.  So, I’m always interested in finding the best way to eat.  Stretching my food horizons is important too.  Since I’ve started eating less meat in my diet I’ve found better ways to eat vegetables and cook them in ways I hadn’t previously tried.  I don’t necessarily think that just because I grew up eating one way, that is the best way.

I do love Tacos though.

.

Q: You must hate America and Beef.

A: That’s not a question, but I do believe that how we produce “meat” in the food market is quite sad.  Cows that eat grass make better meat, cows that eat chocolate don’t.  I don’t support PETA, they’re just crazy.

No really, this isn’t an animal rights thing. Promise.

.

Q: Wait, no cheese?  No Milk?  No Eggs?

A: I could do without cheese, I’ve already been drinking only Almond Milk (sometimes coconut) for a long time now, honestly the hardest thing to say goodbye to will be eggs and yogurt.

.

Q: What are you going to eat?

A:  I’m glad you asked that.  Vegetables. Lots of them.  Follow me here to see my recipes I have fun with throughout the next 30 days.

.

Q: What about wool, leather and other things?

A: No, I looked into this.  That’s more complicated than I’d like to try to be.  Dietary Vegan is good enough for a month.  No need to throw away all of my shoes, wallet and Pea Coat.

The world didn’t end, again…

Aren’t you glad it didn’t end again after all the things they say that is going to happen.

It seems one of these days someone will be right about the end of the world, I don’t think I’ll be around to see it.

My suggestion for 2013 is: Seek Friendship.

It’s something we often overlook and forget it’s power.

.

.

Friendship for the end of the world, the end of a year and the beginning of the rest of your life.

December 2012

Roller-Coasters aren’t this up and downy.

.

When plans are made I should usually plan for things to never go according to plan. However whenever plan for things to not go as planned that would be too well planned out as well. The conundrum continues.

.

December was the end of another year, the 13th Baktun (Mayan Calendar), and the beginning of many different things.  During the “scare” that the world would end on December 21st I kept reading multiple article talking about how some people perceive time.  Some linear, circular and other more wibbly wobbly timey wimey.

.

So although some may see December as an end, others will see it as an end and me, I see it as just the in-between.

.

December was just the end of such a timultuous year, however it’s the beginning of  an even newer year. But lastly, it’s just the in-between what’s next and what’s already happened.

.

Can’t complain, nor would I want to.

Happy New Year, Happy Old Year, Happy In-Between!

.

.

.

Album of the month

For this month I thought I’d look back if there was anything I missed.  There was of course.  Here’s a group I shouldn’t have missed, but I surely did.  The entire album is stellar.  Pulsating fun.

;

The end, the end is nigh!

Huddle close to fire and watch the embers final light;

Remember the days behind and minutes between;

Follow the rabbit trail into a dream;

Listen, don’t speak, for the final moments are near;

Close your eyes, the end is here.

;

2012

Year of the Dragon

Winter Trees

Early Chaco Season

Wintry Wet

Early Cherry Blooms

Rocking Chair of Hope

Rumba Room

Easter Eggs

Arch

Lewis & Clark

Memphis in May

Wedding Season

A quick cold swim

hike out of camp

Ferris' Wheels Day Off

The Great Hall

Goin' on a Bear Hunt

Alum Cove

Godzilla

WO-MEN

Father and Son

Flying Sky High

Ready to Slide

Santa María Magdalena de Pazzis

La Playa

Thorncrown Chapel

Neigh

Camp Bobo

Falling Water

Talking to Grandaddy

THE White Deer

TXMAS

Powered by AFG

Album on Facebook

Album on Flickr

Onward and Upward!

November 2012

Wax Poetic.

.

Pardon my desire for the prosaic and verbose, that just seems to be my nature this month. The changing of seasons and cold breezes tend to create a musical interlude from my day to day. I could just watch the leaves play in the wind until they break from their stems and fall wistfully to the earth. November sent a graceful chill through my bones giving way for the oncoming winter.

.
Fall has been kind to me.

.

Some despise the chill that follows the change of seasons, but I welcome it with open arms and a scarf around my neck. My sweater collection is finally feeling useful again. With my beard growing in fuller and itchier I felt the need to cut something, so I cut the hair on my head instead of the hair on my face. It worked out, with a little help on the back of my head.

6 a.m. campfires and mountain sunrises can make any man weak in the knees. Surely I’m smitten, but my heart can only bear so much. It’s a good thing sunrises don’t last all day. Although, I do miss them when they leave.

.

Although my family lives in a different state, I’m thankful for the family I’ve got nearby. Thankful for the community I have seen build around me and the people I know longer call just friends, but brothers and sisters. With a full heart, I look forward to the end; the sunset.

.

I still don’t know what to make of it…

.

But, just as the leaves fall and the year begins its crawl to the end, I know the sun always sets so it can bring another day. Another day to be thankful, another day to watch another 6 a.m. sunrise, light a fire, and wander through the rabbit trails and wilderness of tomorrow.

.

Here’s to wilderness.

.

Here’s to the coming morning.

.

.

.

album of the month

A month before Christmas is a good time to tell you of a little Christmas album by most likely my favorite artist, Sufjan Stevens.  I like the Christmas Albums, but I’d like him to put out another great album so I can jam to some more new things.  I may just be too greedy when it comes to Sufjan’s music.